Once I got the hang of planning my meals and packing them up ahead of time this new way of life was a breeze, or so I thought. Then the inevitable and awkward happened, my friends wanted me to go out to eat! Seeing as everything in American culture is centered around food dieting successfully can present not only emotional and physical challenges but social as well. People want you to eat what they eat, they want you to drink what they drink and they want you to do too much of both.
When the first social eating invite came I was nervous, I had not told anyone what I was doing yet and I did not want to screw up and start from scratch because of one over sized, butter soaked, calorie and fat infested meal. Initially I was going to say no and make up an excuse why I could not go but I still wanted to have a life and friends so I went ahead and accepted the invite.
Before going out for my first socially awkward diet meal(there are many more to come) I made sure that I ate my prepared foods before leaving the house. I know myself and if I go out to eat hungry I will fail and eat and probably eat the most disgusting thing on the menu. When I arrived at the restaurant the waiter of course wanted our drink orders, mine was water. My friend looked extremely surprised because normally I am quite the vodka drinker, drinking vodka leads to a buzz, which leads to bad choices, which leads to failing on my diet. I took a deep breath and explained that I had signed up for this X Training and was on a diet and workout plan which had just begun. She was surprised and happy for me but of course immediately said, "one drink won't kill you" well my friend it will.
The next feat was avoiding dinner, I had considered just eating a plain salad but as you know if you read the previous posts I like to eat everything. If I start with a salad it will be the gateway drug to ordering more so I declined food as well. This did not sit well with my friend either, "you aren't even going to eat?" she said. While I was comfortable sitting and talking while she enjoyed her meal most people are not comfortable if they are the ones eating. It just does not seem right to them, the whole point is eating together. I explained that I knew this before I came and I wanted her to enjoy her dinner and not worry abut me because I was okay with it, I just wanted to talk and catch up. Dinner continued, she ate, I drank water and we had a great time. I left very satisfied with my diet and goals still intact.
Over the past 6 months since I embarked on this mission there are many people that I simply do not see or hear from as much or at all. This is because they simply do not understand how you can interact socially without eating and drinking in moderation or excess. I do not judge them for that, they may feel like they "can't" invite me or maybe my determination makes them think twice about that giant burrito and you will find that many of your "friends" will react with jealousy and self doubt as you progress and lose weight. Then there are my other friends, the friends who have cheered me on from the beginning, who will wait in the car while I eat out of my cooler, who make coffee dates with me knowing I can drink coffee or tea and they can snack and chat. These are the friends that I truly appreciate and cherish. The ones who make me feel better when its Thursday night and I am watching TLC instead of burning up my money and calories at the bar.
When your friends and co-workers beat you down or become more distant (whether they know they are doing it or not) do not let it discourage you. Take the initiative and call them, let them know that it is okay with you if you are a spectator at the bar or restaurant because it is your choice and you are happy with it. Do not let the Friday office donut rotation tempt you while people wave snacks in your face and make fun of you for making healthy choices. Deep inside more than half of them wish that they had the resolve that you do and in the end you will feel so much better having made those choices.
I am not perfect, over the past 6 months I have failed, I have cheated, I have become frustrated and wanted to skip the gym or order Chinese because I am human. When I do fail I don't beat myself up over it, I move on and vow to make it up and make it better but really sticking to it the next week. The thing that has changed the most and makes it worthwhile to me is the difference in how I feel. If you would have told me 6 months ago that I could work a 10-12 hour massage shift and not need coffee or red bull I would have laughed in your face. But it is true, I don't have more than my normal morning coffee and a green tea each day now. I feel so much better physically and emotionally that I do not ever want to to back. Getting up at 4:30 or 5:00 to workout is exciting to me, each new day is a new challenge and a new day to see my body change. Nothing feels better than when the results are obvious to you and those around you.
There are still people who act as though they do not notice that I am 30lbs smaller or those who say, "I don't like muscles", or "you are too skinny". To them I say, tough, I feel good, I look good and I am not judging you or your choices. Do not let other people project their insecurities onto you or your goals. Think about the people you can inspire and how good it feels to buy a smaller pair of jeans or have someone at they gym say, "you look good!" Think about that when Ben and Jerry's is calling to you from the freezer.
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