You are not a failure!

Having goals is a great thing, in so many ways it is what keeps us motivated, keeps us on task and keeps us on track with a plan we have set in motion.  Goal setting is recognized as something that motivated people do, everyone has a goal of some kind whether it be long term or short term.  Goals also vary greatly from person to person.  One person may set a goal of eating well all week long and another may set a goal of eating at every new fast food restaurant on the block by weeks end.  Different things motivate different people but in the end a goal is a goal.

What do you do when you do not reach your goal?  If your goal was to lose twenty pounds by June 1st in time for your summer vacation but you only lost ten, what do you do?  Is this now the time that you cry and proclaim to everyone what a failure you are?  Do you announce it to all of facebook and twitter that you have failed so now you are a lesser person and there is no point in continuing on?  HECK NO!  If you set a goal of losing twenty pounds and only lost ten that is still a major accomplishment!  Ten pounds is something to be proud of, if you did not achieve your initial goal you are not a failure.  You are a success and now it is time to reevaluate and set a new goal.

We are so hard on ourselves even when it comes to things that we would congratulate a friend or family member on if the situation were reversed.  A trait of successful people is setting goals just a little too high or out of range knowing that failure is possible because successful people will take a step back, look at the situation re asses and forge ahead with a new goal or a different version of the original.

For example, when I began losing weight over a year and a half ago my goal was not to compete, not to write this blog, not to do anything other than make myself look and feel better.  Over time the idea of doing a fitness contest of some kind would come up and I would shoot it down.  It was not something that was important to me at the time.  After going on a vacation to Disney World in November and seeing how many people are literally immobile because of their weight and health issues it inspired me to become "above average" to do the complete opposite and compete.

When I arrived home I looked at the calender of shows and chose one that fit with my works schedule, seemed to give me enough time to get in proper shape and was geographically convenient.  Then I began, being more strict with my food intake, focusing on getting lean, purchasing a suit to wear on stage, the whole deal.  I wanted to be prepared.

Then just a few weeks ago a few things changed.  My suit that I had purchased arrived and still being nine weeks away from the show it is expected to not fit quite right yet.  Genetically I carry more body fat and weight in my lower body, this suit barely covered the crack of my butt!  Although to an average person and myself on a normal day I looked great my backside was not ready for the stage by a long shot!  I spoke to some fellow competitors and my coaches and determined that yes, in order for my glutes to be recognizable as glutes by June 1st it would take a lot of work and some more weight loss in a short amount of time.

After planning and working towards this date for months I had to make a decision, forge ahead and hope for the best or reevaluate my goal.  I chose to reevaluate and aim for a date later in the year that is more comfortable for me in terms of a time frame to get my body in stage ready shape.  This decision is a decision that I am happy with.  It does not mean that I failed or that my work is wasted, it means that I have a new goal and something else to work towards and look forward too.

Many of my friends greeted this decision with, "oh I'm sorry, are you okay?"  Heck yes I am okay, I did not do anything to disappoint, there is nothing to be sorry for.  When you sometimes fall short of your goals, take  step back and look at the journey and the process you went through to get to that point.  Just because it did not have the end result that you desired does not mean that you have failed or that you were not good enough.  It means the journey took a different path and it is a path you should be proud of.  Take that opportunity to set a new goal and start a new  journey.  Always looking forward, not looking over your shoulder at what you could have done.  Each step towards the goal is a success all by itself.